What to say about holiday stress…everyone writes about it
and everyone seems to suffer from it. As with other sources of stress, holidays
can be both positive (family, friends, vacation) or negative (family, money
worries, unrealistic expectations). For
most of us, it’s a little of both.
Much of our holiday stress is the disconnect between our
expectations and our realities. Part of
preventing the stress melt-down is to set realistic expectations for yourself
and for others. Often at the holidays we
try to create an idealized version of our family and friends. We look to our
memories of childhood or to the childhood we wish we had. But that is probably unachievable. One of my most vivid childhood winter
holidays (the one for years, I held all holidays up to) was the one where I was
running a high fever the night of our gift exchange. No wonder everything
seemed sparklier, lighter, and sharper.
So what can we do to minimize the stress? Here are some tips
culled from experts around the country.
-
Set limits. You can’t do
it all. Let others know what you
can and can’t manage. They can figure out if they want to pitch in or let
something go. - Delegate. Children and
other family members can and should help. - Pick and choose (this is
related to #1). If something is
really important to you (say homemade cookies), decide how much of it you
can realistically mange. Maybe you
bake only one variety instead of six. - Acknowledge your feelings.
Maybe the holidays don’t fill you with cheer. Maybe you have suffered a
loss or are unable to travel. Recognize that these feelings are real and
are okay. - Set a budget and stick to
it. More money spent does not mean
more happiness. If you are having financial concerns, be frank (in an age
appropriate way) with children and don’t be hard on yourself. - Plan ahead. Try to set
certain times for shopping and other activities. If you can, avoid shopping at the
busiest times of the day. - Make lists. This will help you keep track of what
needs to be done. You can also help children make their own lists for the
things they are responsible for. - Take time for
yourself. Even a few minutes on
your own can be what it takes to rejuvenate yourself. - Share something with
others through donation or volunteering.
Giving can make us feel better. - Don’t lose sight of your
healthy habits. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables and stay hydrated. Exercise is a great stress reliever. - Seek help if you need it.
If you can’t shake the stress, feel overwhelmingly sad or frantic, find
yourself angry at yourself or others, and/or have thoughts of self harm
(or harming someone else) contact a health professiona.
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