Manage spontaneous memorials, which are one way that community members try to be a part of the healing. Often the site of the crisis — the school building or grounds, the roads near the school or a neighboring park — becomes a spontaneous memorial where people leave flowers, posters, pictures, stuffed animals, cards and letters. It’s important to decide how to preserve these items, and a volunteer can help catalog them. Consider how long the spontaneous memorial items will remain at the site — a week? a month? At some point the items should be removed to reclaim a sense of routine and normalcy.
Monitor organized memorial events. Sometimes government officials and well-meaning community members want to rush into holding special memorial events. Be thoughtful in planning any formal events and involve students and their families. When others take over, the victims experience a lack of control, an inability to grieve and a rush into “closure.” Try to avoid a political agenda. Be considerate of religious and cultural diversity.
Consider events at school. Opinions vary on whether there should be a schoolwide memorial event. If there is an event, involve students in the planning and make it brief, respectful and hopeful. Rather than having a formal memorial service, consider a series of events and activities that allow students to express their sorrow. For example, students can write letters or draw pictures for the families of victims and first responders.
Consider the age of the students. Developmental level is an important factor in how the school handles memorial events and activities. Young children can express their grief through writings and drawings. Older students may want to start a community service project or become involved in school safety committees, conflict management or political action.
Be especially careful about suicides. To reduce chances of copycat behavior, it’s critical not to glamorize suicides. Psychologists advise not having a memorial to the suicide victim.
